Ya know, I had previous inhibitions about getting too personal on my blog, because first of all, I didn't want everybody all in my business, secondly, because I don't want anybody having pity on me or seeing me as a weak person because I'm far from that... But recently, I've been battling myself back and forth about putting my true feelings down here...
I've come to the conclusion that ima just go for it... Cuz a lot has happened to me recently emotionally and I feel it would help a lot for me to sort of vent and get it all off my chest. I'm not gonna name drop in order to not offend the parties involved. But besides that I'm not goin to hold any discression...
Welp, here goes...
I just got out of a courting situation where I was trying to start a relationship with a beautiful young lady who I held very high in regard as far as everything.... I really felt like we were connected on many levels... We never had sex, and I was even fine with that because I was more interested in getting to know as much as I could about her and spending time with her.
Truthfully, I hadn't felt the way I did about a female in quite a long time, so it was kind of spooky, and also my past relationships hadn't ended exactly on good terms so I was trying my hardest to build a successful relationship with this young lady. I even wrote a couple of previous blog entries about her explaining how I felt the best way I could without sounding too mushy.
Soon after, me being the analytical person that I am, I started to notice little things starting to happen... Like we would talk almost everyday whether it was actually on the phone or thru text. Then it slowly became less and less often which wasn't too big of a deal to me because we are both busy ppl but I did noticed it; besides on the couple times that we took the time to hang out with each other, all that other shit didn't matter to me... I felt legitimately happy. I never really knew if the feeling was reciprocated but it seemed like it was... Anyway, Soon after that it kinda went downhill. My bro gave me some info basically telling me how she didn't really like me all how I thawt she did. And how she downplayed the whole situation of us and that in actuality she had eyes for my other bro... This of course immediately stung. I didn't know how to feel! I felt hurt, and like I've been played.
In my angry stage I decided not to speak to her until I saw her cuz if I called and confronted her it probably wouldn't have ended pretty. So we finally spoke on the situation and got it all figured out. Then I thought to myself that it was the time to see where she stood as far as "us" so I wrote up everything I wanted to say to her and posted it up here for her to see... Then gave her some time to think and asked her to be with me...
Unfortunately she declined, and gave me sort of a general response as to why but at the end of the day it was still a no... Basically she apologized for leading me on and wanted to but me in the "friend zone" and everyone knows how much I despise the friend zone. Ugh no good.
Fast forward to present day, I guess we've had a falling out of sorts cuz I haven't really spoke to her since that day... Way back in september... Except for the occasional tweet. But the last time she kinda gave me a subliminal "good riddance" tweet telling me to "get over it" which was kinda left field for me, but hey I guess people show their true colors once its all said and done...
I'm not mad about it, or even hurt anymore. I really dnt know if we'll ever speak again actually cuz it seems as if she's moved on and has no interest in conversing which is fine with me... I tried to reach out to no success so I've pretty much given up on that. Oh well...
At the end of the day, I see this all as a learning experience and ill always remember to read the signs from the jump... Hopefully I won't have to experience anything like this again.
-Skipper
I don’t usually do this but desperate times call for desperate measures, with that being said I’m going in (wayne voice). I tried to respect your feeling and let u “vent” and make your side comments. But enough is enough, Which brings me to this:
ReplyDeleteThis happened in October and it is now the end December deal with the time. You keep prolonging and prolonging the situation. Its done. You say your over it but your actions show other wise. My intentions were to stay friends but the reason we’re not is because of shit like this.
I don’t appreciate how your determined to broadcast our situation for everyone to see. What’s between us is between us. If u felt like you more to get off your chest, you should have came to me. I would have respected you more if you’d taken that road instead. By putting our business on blast seem though you want some sort of pity.
Your making me out to be the bad guy, but in reality all I said was no. The most I implied was that I liked you as a person. Maybe I shouldn’t have use those exact words, not once did I initiate anything more. We were friends.
While you continue to prolonging the situation, your not making me look worst but making yourself look weak. I feel your yearning for attention in all the wrong places. Only you can help yourself.
Truth of the matter is, I’m done with this bullshit. I’m done seeing you post blogs about me. I’m done with your weekly pity parties. I’m over it all. So what’s done is done. FIN